Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that makes you question if they truly love you? The word love has become one of the most abused word. Many people use the word in place of lust, infatuation, fling and crush. This is why so many relationships don’t last long. A lot of people just proclaim love to someone just because of the things they stand to gain. This type of love is not true but a conditional love.
What is conditional love ?
Conditional love is the type of love that’s based on certain conditions, qualities, features and someone’s possessions. So when we say someone has a conditional love for you, what this simply means is that they only give their love to you as long as what they like about you is still present. The moment you lose that thing that makes them like you, they also lose their love for you. In short, a conditional love is a love built solely on benefits. When the benefits are no longer there, the love leaves.
A good example of conditional love is a lady who loves a guy because he is rich. This type of love can be said to be conditional. This is one of the many instances of conditional love.
Signs of Conditional Love
1. They blame you for everything
Someone whose love for you is conditional will always blame you. They will always find fault in everything you do. When you are with these kinds of people, you can never get it right. Sometimes you might begin to feel like there is something wrong with you. You might find yourself trying to go out of your way sometimes just to please them because you don’t want them to condemn or judge you.
When you notice this sign in someone who claims to love you, it’s one of the signs of conditional love. What this means is that their love for you is conditional. Someone who genuinely loves you will not make you feel bad about the things you do. Even when you are wrong or make any mistake, they correct you out of love.
2. They don’t support you
When we are in a relationship with someone, we expect our partners to support us. However, this is not the case in some relationships. Why ? Because love is conditional.
When you seem to be having a hard time or facing certain life challenges, they might not do much to help you overcome these challenges. What this means is that they don’t care about you; they are only still with you because of the benefits they seem to be getting from you.
3. They only express love to you in public
Does your partner make you feel special and express their love to you every time or the only time they show you love is when you are in front of other people? They are very good when it comes to public display of affection because they are trying to create a different image for the public. The only time they sing your praises or dote on you is when you are outside. This never happens when you’re alone with them.
4. They don’t compromise
When someone loves you conditionally, they are not going to give up anything to please you. It’s never going to go your way. Everything has to go the way they want it. As a matter of fact they don’t even ask for your opinions or comments before they doing anything. They give orders and they only expect you to obey them. This is a toxic sign and it’s among the signs of conditional love.
5. You don’t know how to please them
The truth about being with someone who loves you conditionally is that it ends up affecting you mentally. It’s an unhealthy relationship. One of the signs of conditional love that you will notice is being very conscious of how you talk or behave in front of them. You will be confused on what to do and how best to do it. This is because nothing you ever do is good enough. This kind of attitude gradually kills your self-esteem and confidence. Someone who loves you should never and will never make it this way.
6. You feel like you are not good enough
If you ever have to question yourself or have a reason to feel like you are not good enough for someone. It’s high time you left that relationship for good. This is how you will always feel when you are with someone whose love for you is conditional. They make you feel like you are the problem all the time, so you start thinking you are not good enough. You’re not the problem and there’s nothing wrong with you. They don’t just deserve you. You deserve better; you deserve to be with someone who truly loves and care for you.
7. Their love is transactional
When we say someone’s love is conditional, it means that there are certain conditions that must be met to earn their love. They show you love only when they need something from you or you do something for them. Each time they need to get or ask you for something, they will become very nice, loving and caring to you just so they can get the things they want from you.
Sometimes, when you are unable to meet their needs, they might pick up a fight with you. When you notice that your partner is this way, it is a clear sign that the love they have towards you is conditional and one day they’ll neglect and abandon you the moment they stop getting the benefits they get from you.
8. They are always comparing you
They will constantly talk about other people who they think are better than you. They don’t love you for who you are. They want you to behave or act certain way. They might talk about the things their ex used to do for them and how you don’t do the same ? You shouldn’t even bother trying to fit into the ideal person they want because you can’t please them anyway. More so, you shouldn’t lose yourself trying to please someone whose love for you is conditioned.
9. They might be cheating on you
Cheating is also one of the signs of conditional love. It’s so easy for someone who doesn’t love you wholeheartedly to cheat on you because they don’t care about how it makes you feel or how it affects your feelings. We can not say someone who loves you conditionally has genuine feelings for you so you see why they will cheat and be unfaithful? How do you know when your partner is cheating? Read signs of a cheating partner to find out.
