Sometimes, our hearts find love in a place we never thought of. Love is a beautiful thing, and has no boundaries at times. These Sparks and feelings can make one go haywire. The butterflies in the belly, when such feelings come, cannot be described.
Most times, these feelings cannot be suppressed. You, as a lady, might not really notice a guy is crushing on you until you see him display some character. Sometimes the guy involved might not realize he’s already falling for you until he starts seeing himself display some attitude toward you.
When someone is fighting their feelings for you, it can be challenging to discern their true emotions, especially if you love them. Most times, you feel it from a distance and find it hard to know the intent of their hearts or approve of a relationship with them. These feelings can come from anyone. It can be from an acquaintance, a friend, or even a friend’s friend. It can start with a mutual spark. He might want to approach you but get withdrawn, maybe because of his past relationship experience, or he’s scared you might not accept him, or he doesn’t fit into your circle.
Today, I’m going to help you understand better how to tell if a guy is fighting his feelings for you. Here are 14 potential signs that might indicate someone is struggling or fighting with their feelings for you.
Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You
1. He Avoids You
If you’ve seen yourself in a situation whereby a guy constantly avoids you for no reason, avoids your presence, or any conversation with you, then he’s seriously fighting his feelings for you. Such feelings may trigger them to avoid you or your presence. Nobody loves to appear like a nervous wreck around people they’re trying to impress. This comes in the form of unusual nervousness, fidgeting, or avoiding eye contact when interacting with you. They become noticeably more nervous or anxious when you’re around.
They actively try to avoid spending too much time with you or being alone together. Also, mind the difference between being nervous and shy, so you do not confuse someone who avoids you because of their feelings for you with someone who is simply shy or introverted. But if he’s always nervous around you and avoids you, then he’s fighting his feelings for you.
2. He Is All Over Your Social Media
Another sign that he’s fighting his feelings for you is when he’s all over your social media handles. It’s more like he’s stalking you. If he hops, comments, and engages on every single thing you post on social media, there’s a better-than-average chance he has feelings for you. He suddenly becomes interested in all your posts, your hobbies, likes, and passions.
If he starts showing interest and engaging in activities or topics that you enjoy and share on social media, he’s potentially trying to find common ground to connect with you.
When a guy is fighting his feelings for you, he sometimes overreacts, like by complimenting you excessively on all your posts. He offers compliments or praise to you more than usual, trying to compensate for his internal struggles. So if he’s leaving a comment on every one of your Instagram posts, tweets, Facebook posts, and updates—even re-tweeting every link you put on Twitter—it’s likely a surefire sign that he’s into you. Especially if he combines this sign with the first sign.
3. He Is Jealous
Another sign he’s crushing on you but fighting his feelings for you is jealousy. He might display some signs of jealousy when you spend time with others or show interest in someone else, even though he’s not yet sure if you’ll accept him or not.
He will have small bouts of jealousy when you hang out with unfamiliar guys. If you’re still confused or need a sign to know if he’s fighting his feelings for you, especially if he tries to act indifferent in person, pay attention to his behavior when he sees you with other guys.
He might not show or say anything about it, but he’ll sure feel the pangs of jealousy if he learns that you’re spending some time with another guy. He’ll be so restless, overthinking the kind of relationship you have with the said guy, and may even discreetly ask around about who he is. Men can sometimes be territorial beings and are alarmed if another male steals their attention or targets their affection.
4. Hot And Cold Behavior
If a guy is fighting his feelings for you, it’s possible for him to alternate between being warm, cold, and distant, unsure of how to handle his emotions toward you. They can display mixed signals: They send conflicting messages, sometimes showing interest and other times appearing distant. They can display unstable and unusual behavior around you. They act differently around you compared to how they behave with other people. Hot and cold behavior is something you would expect only women to do more than men.
Paying attention to this will show you that it’s also one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you too. Also know that he can be faced with conflicting feelings, which most often involve romantic attraction. Men also retreat for some time alone. Then, they try to strategize, replan, rationalize, and process their feelings before coming back. Your presence at the moment can derail his thoughts and emotions. He might cut off communication and lie low for a while. Just be expectant that he will return when his head and thoughts are cleared for a clearer understanding of his own feelings for you.
5. He Asks Excessive Questions About you
A man who has an interest in you can ask probing questions about your personal life, trying to gather information about you without revealing his own feelings. He’s very observant and wants to take note of every tiny detail about you. He pays attention to every detail about your life, even when you don’t know his motives. This can be a result of his constant monitoring of your social media handles, or he’s just curious to register everything about you in his brain.
He develops increased attention towards you. He seems to pay more attention to your life and the things you say or do, even when they’re not directly relevant to them. You should note that one of the signs he’s fighting his feelings for you is his ability to remember the tiniest details about you.
You might not even remember all these details yourself, but he knows. When you see this sign, there’s no doubt he has feelings for you, and he’s fighting them.
6. He Is Overprotective Of You
A good sign that dude is fighting his feelings over you is that he goes out of his way to protect you. His heart and love for you won’t let him see any hurt come near you. He suddenly became your guardian angel. He guards you like a bodyguard, constantly checks up on you to know how you’re doing, and makes himself available in case you need him.
At first, you might be ok with it, and you’ll appreciate his sweet gesture, but you might get irritated and feel choked with time if he overdoes it to the point of annoyance.
Don’t get it twisted or hold it against him. He’s in love. He’s acting based on his limited knowledge, and it’s just his own way of expressing those feelings within him that he can’t ignore anymore. The same way, a lion protects his territory. That is what he does for the sake of love.
7. Over Compassion
Sam was a 200-level university student when he met Sandra, a fresher who was so beautiful and intelligent. Sam immediately took an interest in Sandra after their first conversation. Sam tried to fight the feelings but couldn’t. He became available for Sandra at every opportunity.
He helped Sandra get all her clearances done and get her matriculation number. All this while, Sandra, who has never had a committed relationship in the past, found it strange but played along. Their relationship came into full bloom when she finally became a full student at the same school. Sam helped her finally settle in at school. Sandra almost lost her admission as she wasn’t able to complete her school fees, but Sam stepped in and saved the situation.
Sam went out of his way to get her a loan and added his school fees to save the situation, even though he was also in need of paying his school fees. Sam inconvenienced himself.
Guys like Sam are overly available to help without asking for anything in return. They can’t say “no” if you’re the one asking in fact, it’s one of the clearest signs he is fighting his feelings for you, and you are his weakness. He’s the most uptight and humorless guy you know. He’s ready to agree to the silliest thing you’ll ask of him. That is his own way of proving to you that he loves and cares for you and that you can rely on him.
8. He Will Ask Your Friends About You
Another sign that he’s into you but fighting his feelings for you is that he will always ask your friends about you. He will always want to know about your well-being by inquiring from your friends, even when you’re not aware that he’s falling for you. Sometimes he can go as far as sending you gifts anonymously through your friends.
Kemi was always receiving gifts from her friend Ruth, who refused to disclose the sender. It’s either chocolate, snacks, clothes, innerwear, etc., and each time she protests, questioning Ruth on who this strange philanthropist is, Ruth will always respond that it’s from a secret lover. The secret lover, Bami, will always accompany these gifts with a secret romantic love letter expressing his undying love for Kemi. He would always ask about Kemi through Ruth and add gifts.
This continued until Kemi couldn’t bear it again and insisted on not taking in more gifts until Ruth revealed who this secret lover is. This was after six months of playing hide and seek. That was when Bami showed up, and their love fully kick-started.
So, if he always asks your friends about you, learns things about you, and sends you gifts, it is a reliable sign that he’s into you. However, if you find such acts more like pestering, stalking, or disturbing those in your circle, you need to check well and be sure it’s not an early warning flag. It’s cute to casually ask questions about you. But when it becomes like a pest, incessantly disturbing your friends and family about every detail of you, it can be an issue, and you need to address it.
9. He Always Mentions You In Conversations
If he constantly mentions you unconsciously in all his conversations, then it can be a sign that he’s fighting his feelings for you. If during discussions your name keeps popping up from him unconsciously, without him realizing he acts like that, then it’s so obvious he’s fighting his feelings for you. You live in his subconscious, as he always thinks of you. A guy who desperately wants to be with you will always sing your name.
10. He Always Has Your Back
If he always takes your side in any case, always has your back – even when you’re hanging on a limb, and is always there to defend and support you, then it’s a sign he’s crushing hard on you.
Watch it when a guy suddenly becomes overly caring and wants to get involved in all your affairs, wanting to go out of his way to support you even when it will cost him. He’s actually passing on the message that he’s already falling for you but fighting it hard.
11. He’s Rude To You
Sometimes he can be rude. If, out of the blue, he suddenly and always becomes rude to you, it could be a sign that he’s developed feelings for you. The only way he can express his feelings is to be rude to you. More like saying his heart is finding it hard to express the feelings. The only way he can get your attention is to be rude.
Boys and men can sometimes revert to childish behavior. When they don’t know how best to handle their feelings/emotions towards you, they can resolve to throw tantrums.
12. He’s So Happy When You Mention Him In Front Of Your Friends
A sign that he is crushing on you is that he feels so excited and happy when he hears you mention him in front of your friends. This gives him hope that he already has a place in your heart. For him, you bringing up his name or anything he did in front of your common friends is an interpretation and a sign that you’re also interested in him and his feelings.
This may also give him hope that he has a chance with you. On closer observation, you’ll notice he will be smiling ear to ear. He will have a good night’s sleep if he learns that you mentioned him in any of your social interactions. To him, he already has a place in your heart.
13. He Seems So Nervous Or Stiff When You Bump Into Him Unexpectedly
Another sign that he’s fighting his feelings for you is that he seems so awkward and nervous when you suddenly bump into each other. Any chance of meeting him suddenly will be like a nightmare for him. It will be like an emergency meeting he didn’t prepare for. A quick assessment of his appearance, who he’s with, and what he’s currently doing will make him jittery.
He might find it hard to find his voice to speak to you, as he might have lost his voice because of freight. His voice might go a pitch higher, and his conversational skills might turn into a stuttering mess. You are left wondering why he is so nervous as if he is being questioned by cops. This is especially the case if, on an average day, he’s very poised, well-behaved, and calm.
In summary, these feelings are so real, and sometimes you can’t fight them back. You also feel It. Call it anything you want, pestering, cruising, energy, a vibe, or intuition—the truth is that you can also feel his attraction and advances toward you. It’s obvious. The frequency is a bit more real when he comes near. You don’t just have to ignore his feelings, unless you’re the only one who feels the spark.
When you see these signs, it’s up to you to decide whether to give him a chance. You can send him a message directly or through friends. You can plan or welcome a date with him. If you also have an interest, feel the same energy, or are attracted to him as your potential admirer, you can ask him if he already has a partner. The time has gone when only men make advances. Women do the same nowadays.
Plan an outing, which can be an opportunity for you both to have a detailed discussion. Be Patient too. If he’s really into you and you’re both available, sooner or later, he will summon the courage to ask you out. This is how many great couples started. It’s not always easy to start a relationship. Many uncertainties and what-ifs surround the journey. This should not stop you. Shoot your shot and maybe he’s the prince charming you have been waiting for.
Everybody isn’t the same. So next time a guy is crushing on you. You’ll have a better way to handle it. Ask questions and communicate.
