Have you met someone for the first time with him or her coming on strong to you but you don’t want to be with the person? You are wondering how best to tell the person you’re not interested.
This is where many people have gotten it wrong. In a bid to tell someone that you’re not interested, they come off sounding too mean and aggressive, which shouldn’t be so.
There might be certain things you don’t like about a person; you both may not be compatible with each other, hence the need to reject the idea of a relationship.
It can get awkward when you tell someone you are not interested. Therefore, when you need to do so, getting the message passed on in clear words should be a top priority.
You don’t have to sound mean to get the message across. It can be tricky, though, so let’s explore ways you can tell someone you’re not interested with text examples.
How To Tell Someone You’re Not Interested?
It is somewhat difficult to tell a person you are not interested. Some people are scared of hurting others’ feelings; others may develop low self-esteem when rejected, especially if the person feels so good about himself or herself.
Here are a few ways to reject advances without hurting the person’s feelings: In each point, we’ll give examples of texts you can use. You may prefer to send these messages via text or meet up in person to tell the person how you feel.
1. Use the ‘I’ pronoun in statements
To tell someone you are not interested, it’s kind of more polite to use “I” statements. “You” statements may sound derogatory or rude in some situations, but if you feel the need to use them to state the obvious, then you should.
For instance,
“I am not ready for a relationship yet, so I’m not interested,” in contrast to “You are not the one for me, so I’m not interested.”
Their differences are clear in how each statement is used.
Say something like
“I just got out of a relationship, so I’m taking my time to reboot.”
Or
“I’m not sure I’m ready to entertain the prospect of a relationship. It’s not been rosy for me at all. This is just me being particular about my space and the people that should be in it.’
2. Say no with a compliment
A compliment goes a long way in making someone feel special until it doesn’t. Though a “but” after a compliment sounds kind of wrong in one’s ears, it sometimes can’t be avoided.
For instance, say
“You are naturally amazing. I love your sense of humor and your cool personality, but unfortunately, I’m not interested in you like that.”
Or
“The past few hours I spent with you have been blissful; you are a great host, I must confess, but I really can’t continue this as I am already in a relationship.”
3. Reject with respect
When a person declares an interest in you respectfully and you can’t reciprocate, you’d best reject it respectfully too.
Say
“I appreciate that you like me and my personality; that’s so sweet. Thank you for all the sweet gestures and thoughtfulness; however, I must say I’m not interested in taking things further, but I hope you find someone else who is appreciative of you and what you do.”
Not
“I’m neither interested in you nor in a relationship with you because you are simply not my type.”
Be honest and straight to the point
Beating around the bush is like leading the person on with no hope of giving them a chance. That’s not fair to anyone. Being honest and straightforward would save everyone the stress of pretending the relationship is going somewhere when, in reality, you are all dancing around each other.
Say something like
“We’ve been going out a few times now. I just confess that I’ve not enjoyed myself; most times the whole conversation is on me and you don’t contribute. Other times, you seem to zone out. I can’t tell where this is headed, so I’d love to take a step back and not lead you to believe everything is alright.”
4. Reject the relationship, not the person
Everyone has a prospect; someone you may not be compatible with can be very compatible with another person. Therefore, not being interested doesn’t mean others are not interested.
This person is not just for you. In every case, reject the relationship, not the person. This is where the cliche line “it’s not you, it’s me” usually comes in; it’s not about the person.
Say something like
“I don’t think I’d fit in this relationship because I’m not ready to settle yet. I still have some personal issues to sort out.”
Or
“Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to stay away from relationships for the time being. I’m working on myself, hence the lack of interest from me.”
5. Be open about your needs
Now and then, people meet other amazing people who are right on all sides, but something won’t just click. In this aspect, you should make your special needs a priority and say something that sounds;
“You are cool and all, but there are specific things I want in a relationship, and I don’t see us being that kind of couple. But I guarantee you’ll find someone who fits right.”
Be clear with your feelings; don’t give excuses
Your feelings should be stated clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
Try
“I’m not interested in you in the way you’re suggesting; it’s just that I have other priorities, and relationships aren’t one of them.”
Or
“It’s best if we don’t take things further; I’m not interested.”
6. Be firm, especially with an aggressive person
A lot of people come off as aggressive when rejected. Don’t let that deter you from being firm in dealing with such a person. You should also be careful how you respond and steer clear for safety reasons.
7. Don’t apologize for not being interested
You really don’t have to apologize for feeling interested in a person. Being direct and respectful is enough. Apologizing for not being interested in a person is like administering medicine after death. It sounds cringy.
For instance
“You left me speechless with your proposal; it’s lovely if I say so myself, but I must decline. I’m really not interested in a relationship at the moment.”
Not
“I’m so sorry for not being interested in you; I hope you’ll be alright.”
8. Say if you want to remain friends
If you are not interested in a relationship with this person but you’d like to remain friends, be sure to let them know with something like,
“You are a really fun and lovely person; regretfully, I am not open to a relationship, but can we remain friends?”
Or
“Though I may not be interested in you romantically, let’s be friends.”
Telling a person who wants a relationship with you, “Let’s be friends,” is somewhat painful. Most people decline immediately because they can’t bear to just be friends with someone they love.
Conclusion
It’s perfectly normal for someone to be interested in you, and you can’t reciprocate the gesture. However, if you are not interested, it is also alright to tell the person.
Don’t try to play it cool and lead the person on when you are not into him or her.
