You finally went on your first date with the girl or guy you like, and the experience exceeded your expectations. You want things to go forward, but you’re unsure of how to ask for a second date, as you don’t want him or her to think you’re desperate and quell the little interest you have managed to stir up.
Findings show that asking for a second date is easier than asking for a first date since you’ve already had a first meeting and have identified a few signs that you both are compatible.
In asking for a second date, it should not be too soon so you don’t come across as needy, nor should it be too far apart so the person does not lose interest and move on.
How do you ask for a second date? This article will provide you with practical tips on how to stage your approach and get that gorgeous lady or handsome man to say yes to a second date.
How To Ask For A Second Date
STEP 1: Be aware of details on the first date
On the first date, you should ask questions to familiarize yourselves with each other. You should ask important questions like, Where’s your favorite place in town? What are the items on your bucket list? What games are you good at? When your date answers, grasp the answers and store them in your memory because they will come in handy when you ask for a second date.
For instance, say she’s always wanted to visit a particular restaurant, and you say, “What do you say she finally explores that restaurant you talked about and sees if their food is as good as you think?” or if she expressed a longing to see a particular movie and it’s showing in cinemas around that period, use that opportunity to ask her out on a second date. You could explain how you also want to see the movie and how this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
This approach shows your date that you’ve been paying attention to what seemed like offhand information and would inspire a “yes” faster than you imagined.
STEP 2: Plan the date on your own terms
We understand that there are certain preconceived, unofficial rules about dating that you may want to follow; however, moving at your own pace is best for you. This is because it will help you analyze how ready you are to take the next step.
Truly, rules are important, but you should not stick rigidly to them. Don’t hesitate to add a spice or two of your own.
For example, if the rule says to wait a few days before asking on a second date, but your gut is telling you it should be now or never. Go ahead and ask her.
Also, it’s best to do it on your own terms, so you know how to fit it in alongside work and other activities that might crowd your schedule.
Step 3: Ask with confidence
Confidence is an important trait everyone should possess, especially when it comes to beginning a relationship. It shows you know and are sure of what you want. It also lets the other person understand you’re not asking for a second date out of pressure but because you are interested in her or him and want it. This confidence shows in your stance and speech.
Remember how you rehearsed before taking her out on a first date and how you finally stood before her and asked her? That’s good. Now, the initial fear of rejection is out of the way (because there’s been a first date). Focus on the moment and speak to the man or lady you like.
Yes, man and lady, because it’s not only a guy who can ask for a second date. A lady can ask the guy she likes too. Remember what we said about the “supposed” rules? Let them go. Of course, you might still feel a bit anxious about his or her response, but don’t dwell on it for too long. This time, you know the person, so go for it.
Look him or her in the eyes, smile, reminisce about old times, and say what you want. Your confidence can deliver a yes.
STEP 4: Ensure that your words are clear and to the point
Not everyone likes to unravel a puzzle or appreciates a subtle hint. Some people just want you to go straight to the point and say what you want. So, instead of saying, “We should go out again sometime,” say, “Would you love to go out again with me sometime next week or later?”
That way, he or she knows what you want and can answer accordingly.
Of course, if you both are attracted to each other, the shy, subtle asking can land you a second date, but it is also impractical. Being subtle can lead to ghosting on the second date because he or she might not be sure about what you meant.
Therefore, always endeavor to clear the air and let the person know you are going out again. This will make everyone comfortable.
STEP 5: Save some spicy info for later
Some people make the mistake of spilling all their secrets on the first date, and when they eventually go on a second date, there’s nothing more to talk about or interest in your date. It is therefore important not to divulge too much personal information on the first date. You could share general information and leave the spicy gist and pleasant stories for a second date.
Make it look like you have more to offer, and going on a second date would be a chance to tell about all your wonderful adventures.
Also, if there’s something you both are interested in, skim around it and get the gist of it on a second date.
So armed with this new spicy information to talk about, use it as an opener to get a second date. Get him or her interested in wanting to continue the conversation on another day and fix a time.
For example, if on a first date you discover she loves to read murder thrillers as much as you do, you could initiate a conversation about a book you read, sweetly mention something spicy about the books you’ve read, and plan to continue the conversation on another date. Definitely, she would say yes because something juicy is expected.
STEP 6: Come up with a fun date idea
Not every date should be about eating at a restaurant. You should learn to spice things up a little, like think of something you both can do together and have lots of fun while at it. This can help boost your confidence and help you discover new passions.
There are many fun date ideas, like a sip and paint session, and neither of you have to be good at painting. You can have fun laughing at the other person’s stick figure drawing, or you might be good at painting, and you never knew. This is also a chance to notice how much interest the person has in you; you may catch a few sideways stares from your date, and it will leave a feeling that you’re building something that will last for a long time.
This is included in How to Ask for a Second Date because your partner might want to know what you have planned for a second date.
STEP 7: Talk about how much you enjoyed the first date
Of course, we know the first date might not have been perfect, but there were things you enjoyed about it. If you ever plan to ask for a second date, make it known that you loved the first one.
It leaves the other person satisfied that their time and energy were not wasted and makes them anticipate another date.
For instance, let’s say it rained on the first date, getting you both wet, and you had to run into a shelter to wait out the rain. In that shelter, you took turns counting the number of people on the road and guessing things about them, and it was so much fun. When the rain subsided, you were able to continue your date. At the end of it, you could talk about the rain, laugh about it, and wish you had more time to discuss the people you saw on the streets. That would dispel whatever doubts your partner had in mind about the date and keep him or her open for another one, but if you complained about the rain all through the date, well, no second date. That’s for sure!
In conclusion, asking for a second date shouldn’t be so hard considering there’s been a first, except the first didn’t go so well (ouch). We’ve highlighted a few tips you could use to ask that lady or guy for a second date. Different tips work for different people in different situations. Try them and get that second date you both desire. Always remember to put your best foot forward.
All in all, let it be about what you want. If you’re rejected, fine. Remember, rejection is not the end of the world. You’ll find someone to go on your first and second dates with.
