We all have things we desire in a partner; however, so many people end up being with someone who might not have the qualities they want. This is exactly what it means to settle in a relationship. When we think of having a relationship with someone, it’s supposed to be with someone we love, someone who makes us happy, someone whose value aligns with ours and someone we can spend the rest of our lives with.
However, this is not always the case; many people are enduring their relationship with their partner when they are meant to be enjoying it. This is what settling in a relationship is, How do you know if you are settling? If you always feel or imagine being with someone else aside from your partner, then you are settling. So one may wonder: What are the reasons that make people settle? Why do people choose to be in a relationship with someone who is not who they desire?
Why do people settle in a relationship? 4 Reasons why people settle in a relationship
There are several factors that make people settle in a relationship and here are some of them below:
1. Societal pressure
A lot of people end up settling with the wrong partner because of societal pressure. In certain societies and cultures, there is a certain age and time that people believe one should get married. When people reach a certain age, they can be pressured to get married to someone they don’t love. Just because they care about what people or society think of them.
2. Financial dependence
People who are financially dependent on other people might not have much choice when it comes to choosing a partner. Their top priority in a partner will always be money, even when they notice certain red flags they ignore. It’ll be hard for people to leave when they depend on others for their livelihood. This is one of the reasons why someone may choose to settle in a relationship.
3. Fear of being alone
There are people who see the need for constant company. Some people have the fear of being alone; hence, this fear can make them settle because they are afraid to go through the lonely phase. They’d rather be with someone who is available for them, even if they think they deserve better. Especially if it’s someone they’ve been with for a long time. If the reason you are with someone is because you are scared of being alone, that is one if the signs that you are settling
4. They find it stressful to start over
There are people who think dating someone is stressful. When they think of the stress it’ll take to get someone else, the time it’ll take to meet someone and the time they will invest in a new relationship, they might feel it is too much work. The popular phrase of people who settle is ‘AÂ known devil is better than unknown angel’ This is usually their excuse.
How do you know if you are settling?
We will be providing you with answers to the question: how do you know if you are settling in this section by looking at the different noticeable signs that show you are settling in a relationship.
1. You feel like you are missing out
When you are in a relationship with someone you love, it’ll make you feel happy and fulfilled. You’ll feel lucky to have your partner; you’ll feel like you have won a jackpot or like they are the best thing that ever happened to you.
However, if you don’t feel this way, it’s a sign you settled, so how do you know if you’re settled? You’ll feel like there are opportunities to meet someone better than your partner. You feel like you deserve more and that they are not the best for you. In short, if being with your partner doesn’t feel like the best thing that ever happened to you, then it’s a sign you are settling.
2. You are always comparing your partner with others
Do you always wish your partner will act or look like someone else? Once you start feeling this, you may need to ask yourself why you are with your partner. Whatever your answer is, it’s certainly not for love; it’s because you settled. If you are constantly comparing your relationship with others, you are settling.
3. You are trying to change them
Does that person have certain behavior you can not live with or you find unacceptable? If you’re constantly trying to change him or her, trying to stop them from behaving a certain way, you are settling.
Everyone has their dealbreakers—things we can not tolerate. However, it’s sad when people see these signs and still decide to be with the person because they think they can change them. This is what people who settle in a relationship do all the time.
4. They have some qualities you want but not all
Who says you can not find your Mr. or Mrs. Right ? There are thousands of people with the qualities you want in a partner, except you have unrealistic expectations. How do you know if you are settling? Look at your man or woman and see if they are everything you prayed for.
5. You are afraid of hurting the other person
You always feel like leaving them but you’re still with them because you don’t want to hurt them. This feeling only comes when you settle for less. When you are with someone you love, you never feel the need to leave them.
6. You are not happy
I think the big question you need to ask yourself when you are in a relationship with someone is if you are happy. For no reason should you be in a relationship where you are not happy. Such relationship is not healthy for you. However, if you are with someone who makes you unhappy, that’s how to know if you are settling.
7. You are not proud to introduce them to your friends
Do you always hide your partner from your friends ? You are always trying to prevent any situation that will make them meet with your friends and loved ones. Its a sign that you settled, you don’t love them and that you are not proud of them.
Any reason that makes you choose them as a partner is not love. Now, the reason why some people are not proud of their partner is because they feel that they deserve better. So they are afraid of what their friends will think or say when they find out that the kind of person they are with is someone below their standard. There is no other better word to describe this action than settling.
8. Your personal growth is affected
If you are in a relationship, and it looks like your life is on hold. It’s a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. A healthy relationship is one that gives room for personal growth. And we all want a healthy relationship but why would anyone be in a relationship that’s not healthy ? Because they settled.
9. You are afraid of being alone
Did you decide to stay with someone because you didn’t want to feel lonely or single. A lot of people will resort to the idea of being with just anyone who is available just to avoid being single. This is not a good reason to be in a relationship.
