In any relationship, love is an attribute that should, by default, flow. It becomes an issue when what should be present is being given under coercion.
Love is not by force and is best enjoyed when the two partners are on the same page. It’s normal to seek ways to learn how to make yourself fall in love with someone.
Forcing a relationship means you are making someone love you against their will.
Everyone deserves a relationship where love is freely given. You might need to stop when it looks like you are forcing yourself to love someone or when your partner feels like they are being forced into a relationship.
Nevertheless, considering seeing a relationship therapist might be of great help here. As we delve deeper into this article, we’ll be looking at the signs shown when love is being forced and how to remedy such a situation. So sit back and follow me on this journey.
Signs To Show That You’re Forcing Love in a Relationship
1. You’re always the one fixing things
All healthy relationships are characterized by fights and disagreements once in a while. Conflicts only mean you are being honest with each other and know when to say no.
However, if you are always the first to settle the fight, it means you are forcing a relationship. If you can’t remember the last time your partner called you to fix a rift, you are in a forced relationship. Intentional couples know the importance of settling a dispute as soon as possible.
2. You compromise a lot
Understand that no relationship should make you uncomfortable. However, you might need to deny yourself something to make the relationship work. For example, it is vital to take some time for you and your partner to meet.
If it seems like you are the only one making all the compromises and sacrifices, you are forcing love into a relationship.
3. Your partner fights over the triflest thing
A forced relationship, or a relationship where you force yourself to love someone, is usually full of drama. When your partner takes delight in fighting you over little things, it may mean that you are forcing yourself to love someone.
For instance, if they fight with you to meet up with an old friend around the time they are with their friend, that is a sign of a forced relationship.
4. You buy gifts all the time
Different languages characterize love. For some, being physically available for their partner is a love language, while others value care. Some individuals express theirs through gifts.
It’s understandable if buying gifts is how you express your love, but you should try to reciprocate with similar gestures. As little as a box of chocolates can make all the difference.
If you realize you buy all the gifts most of the time, that’s one of the signs you are forcing yourself to love someone because ‘Giving is love’.
5. You feel resentful and frustrated
Despite your efforts to convince yourself of your love, you often find yourself feeling frustrated or resentful towards the person. Their behaviors or actions may consistently disappoint or irritate you, and you may struggle to overlook or forgive their shortcomings.
These negative emotions stem from a disconnect between your true desires and the forced love you’re attempting to cultivate.
6. You long to be in love
One of the clear signs of being pressured in a relationship is when you still imagine being in love. You shouldn’t crave love when you are supposedly in a relationship.
Nobody is perfect, but your partner—the person you choose to be your love interest—should be enough and okay for you. If otherwise, it means you are in a forced relationship or forcing yourself to like someone.
7. You beg for intimacy
Love is a beautiful phenomenon that involves a strong bond between partners. This bond naturally pushes the individuals toward each other and foregrounds intimacy; it’s simply effortless.
If you find yourself persuading your partner to be intimate with you, that is one of the signs you are forcing a relationship. You are good enough and shouldn’t beg to be adored.
8. You don’t see them in your future
You might not necessarily envision your relationship becoming quite huge in the future. But as you get to know your partner, it’s only normal that you imagine a lifetime with them.
If your partner doesn’t fit into your definition of a partner in the future, you might feel like you’re in a forced relationship. Trying to make them your ideal partner is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.
9. You don’t know what a happy relationship means
One other sign of trying to force a relationship is when you can’t define a happy relationship. You will think you know it all until someone asks you what it feels like to be in a healthy and happy relationship, and you can’t describe it.
Your relationship should be a typical example, and you should be able to draw one or two examples from it. When you can’t, it only means you are forcing yourself to love someone.
10. You constantly doubt your feelings
You frequently question the authenticity of your feelings for the person. Instead of experiencing a sense of certainty and security in your love, you find yourself plagued by doubts and uncertainties.
You may seek constant reassurance from others or engage in self-convincing behaviors to validate the existence of your feelings. This ongoing self-doubt suggests that the love you’re experiencing may not be genuine.
11. You’re Afraid to Express Your Feelings or Concerns
Open communication is key in any relationship. If you find yourself fearful of expressing your feelings or concerns to your partner, it indicates a fundamental issue.
Trust and safety in sharing emotions are vital for a thriving relationship, and the absence of these components may suggest you’re trying not to rock the boat to keep the relationship alive.
12. You seek external validation
Your need for external validation and approval becomes apparent in your relationship. Instead of relying on your feelings and intuition, you constantly seek the opinions and acceptance of others to validate your relationship.
Whether it’s seeking reassurance from friends or family or striving to meet societal expectations, this reliance on external validation suggests that you may be forcing yourself to love someone to fulfill external standards rather than your own genuine emotions.
13. You wish the relationship ends
If you are in a happy relationship, you will never think of the end of the relationship. And that’s why some failed relationships are more painful than others—the couple never envisioned a breakup.
On the other hand, if a part of you wishes something terrible happened so you and your partner can go your separate ways, that is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.
14. You feel emotionally exhausted
Rather than feeling energized and fulfilled in the relationship, you frequently experience emotional exhaustion. The constant effort required to maintain the facade of love takes a toll on your emotional well-being.
Pretending to have feelings that don’t genuinely exist is draining and unsustainable, leaving you feeling emotionally depleted and fatigued over time.
Steps to Remedy The Situation
1. Start by taking some time for self-reflection
Understand what led you to this point and recognize your feelings. A clearer understanding of your emotions will help you make more informed decisions.
2. Openly discuss your feelings with your partner.
They may not even be aware of the imbalance, and communication could lead to meaningful change.
3. Seek professional help.
Relationship counselors or therapists can provide valuable insight and facilitate productive conversations between you and your partner.
4. Prioritize your needs.
This is crucial. Consider what you need from a communication relationship and whether your current one can fulfill these needs. Don’t discount your feelings.
5. Create Boundaries
Establishing personal boundaries can help ensure that you don’t lose yourself in the effort to maintain a relationship.
It’s okay to step back if a relationship is causing more pain than joy. It might be difficult initially, but it often leads to a path of self-discovery and better connections in the future. You deserve a relationship that nourishes you, not one that drains you
Conclusion
In conclusion, forcing love in a relationship often leads to resentment, unhappiness, and exhaustion. It’s crucial to remember that everyone deserves a relationship where love flows naturally, where both parties are equally invested, and where the joy vastly outweighs the struggle.
Forcing yourself to stay in a relationship is generally not a healthy or sustainable approach. While there may be situations where individuals make sacrifices or compromises for the sake of a relationship, genuine love and fulfillment cannot be forced.
As you journey through the realm of relationships, always remember your worth and the value of genuine, mutual love. Embrace the power of authenticity, and don’t settle for less than a partnership that brings you joy, growth, and fulfillment
