In the dating world, there are several situations one may experience that will leave you feeling confused. One of these is a scenario where a guy cancels a date without rescheduling.
When a guy cancels a date, zillions of questions run unhinged through your mind. Did he suddenly not find you attractive? Did you say something that set him off? Did he plan to ditch you all along?
All these questions without answers leave you feeling disturbed and maybe stupid, especially if you have gone all out in preparation for the date. You envisioned everything going smoothly and looked forward to a future relationship with this person. To add salt to the injury of being let down, he did not suggest a reschedule, once again, you are left to wonder where you stand.
As usual, there are two perspectives on every matter. When a guy cancels a date without rescheduling, it does not always mean he doesn’t want to go out with you. On the other hand, it may mean he doesn’t want to go out with you. Nevertheless, canceling a date at the last minute is a red flag unless there is a reasonable explanation for it.
Also, it is super important to be able to get a clear message when dating. Most people want to live in fantasy throughout the dating period, so they do not acknowledge reality when it’s right in front of them.
That being said, it’s left for you to notice and decide whether his reasons are genuine. If his reasons are not adding up, you would sense it. This way, you won’t waste your time and energy on people who are not into you.
This article is for you if you are struggling to understand the whys behind a guy canceling a date without rescheduling. In this article, we are going to explain what it means and how you can handle yourself in such a situation.
What it means when a guy cancels date without rescheduling
There are several reasons a guy cancels a date without rescheduling. Normally, you’ve run through a lot of reasons in your mind but they don’t translate to his reasons in reality, so you have to first listen to his reasons and make of them what you will.
However, the reason he presents may sound different in your ears and that’s where you decode what it means when a guy cancels a date without rescheduling.
1. He wasn’t serious about getting to know you
This can translate to he is either in a relationship and was just looking for a fling, then at the last minute, he decided that it wouldn’t be cool or fair to his partner, canceled the date and went off your radar.
This can also translate to he asked someone else on a date and it did not work out. Then, about the time he asked you and scheduled everything, his former interest showed up. On a scale of importance, the former comes first, so he had to cancel the date with you to make time for the other.
His not being serious about getting to know you may be a much bigger reason than this or a lesser one. These reasons are not to make you feel bad about yourself or think you are not worthy. Rather, you should feel lucky because if he is interested in or serious about you, he will put in effort and try to put you first. So that’s good riddance right there.
2. He feels you are out of his league.
Being out of his league may mean different things. Either you are more sophisticated than him or you are from a more humble background than him.
It may also be about personality differences. You are an extrovert who loves attention and making friends, while he is an introvert who dislikes being around many people and loves staying alone.
All these can pose an issue for some individuals because, in a way, they would want to project their personalities on you and try to draw you into their league, thereby making you lose parts of yourself in the process. But if he sees that you both are parallel lines that may never meet, he withdraws and cancels the date.
Another notion here is that the guy may suffer from low self-esteem and have confidence and trust issues, so being your friendly self with people would make him feel secluded and left out.
Additionally, he may be too proud, especially if you are from a humble background and he wants someone more on his level and you don’t have those qualities he is looking for. He may feel you would not fit into his social circle, so he cancels the date.
3. He found out something about you.
He might have been as thrilled as you before the date, anticipating everything going smoothly until he found out something about you that would pose a threat to your future relationship.
- His best friend likes you: this is usually a huge possibility in many dating circles. Research shows that guy’s take their bro code very seriously. So if his friend has already professed interest in you or has at some point pursued you, he will withdraw himself and cancel the date.
- You aren’t who you say you are: So many people are guilty of hiding certain information about themselves that they feel would drive potential partners away and in this case, you’re guilty. If the guy finds out your secret one way or another, he’s likely not going to commit anymore.
4. He suddenly felt off about the date.
This is more like having cold feet when the date keeps approaching. The reason boils down to either having low self-esteem or not matching his level of enthusiasm. He felt like he would be better off with someone else who would share his kind of energy, however boisterous or calm he is, so he cancelled the date and never thought of rescheduling.
Though research has shown that opposites attract, and you think to yourself that you both will make a good pair despite your differences, you should not beat yourself up about it because he isn’t. No big deal.
5. He is busy
True to his words, he may be busy. Being busy here is relative. Busy can mean too much workload and too little time. Busy can mean family emergencies and no later time. Busy can also mean being out gaming with friends and enjoying oneself so much that no one else can fit in. Busy can mean sitting in front of the TV and just watching one program after another.
So, if he cancels the date without rescheduling and his excuse is being busy, be rest assured that you were not in his plans because if you were, he would make time and reschedule the date.
6. He is testing you
Guys do that a lot. They want to know if you’re worth their efforts. There’s a possibility that he’s actually interested in you but also wants to check your level of interest so he cancels the date and doesn’t reschedule on purpose. He is holding out hope that you would be bold enough to reach out first and ask whether he is still interested.
How to handle when a guy cancels date without rescheduling
This is going to be a huge ball in your court because this area has a lot of ‘being the bigger person’ talk. You may not be familiar with taking the lead in a relationship or proposing your action steps. Yet, these are steps you should take if you really want to handle the situation effectively.
1. Talk to him or mutual friends
Are you so curious about his reasons for canceling the date? You want to know if he’s taking you seriously or if he’s just looking for a fling? Then talk to him. Send a text or put in a call. Initiate a conversation.
Talking to him is a good way to get clarity about what he really wants. If he keeps ignoring you, then he isn’t worth your time, that is the exact character of a coward who cannot face the music from his drums.
Another way is to ask for inquiries from mutual friends. Finding out if he’s already in a relationship or if there is something he is hiding and canceling the date helps him keep up whatever facade it is, would ease your mind.
2. Watch his interactions
You may have to stalk him for this to work (if you are up for it). Watch his friends, watch his lifestyle, is it in sharp contrast with yours? There, you have your answer. He feels you are out of his league.
Now the ball is in your court. Do you think your differences don’t matter? If you think you both can pull it off irrespective of your contrasting personalities, then you have to hold out the olive branch and get him to come all the way up.
If he still drags his feet or tells you up front that it won’t work out, you’ll have to nurse your bruised ego and keep moving. You are better off than with someone who won’t appreciate you.
3. Confront him
This is your last resort when the situation calls for it. If you were so hurt by his actions that you felt the need for a confrontation, by all means do it.
You may decide not to be rude (you don’t have to) but be firm in your speech and ask for an explanation for messing with your feelings and stringing you along only to cancel on you.
This will help ease whatever ill feeling you carried with you and if possible, stay off contact for a while.
4. Ask him out
If you really wanted to go out with him and he’s not rescheduling, take it up and ask him out. Who knows if that’s what he’s hoping for?
It’s a two way street. He might go for it or think you are desperate. Either way, it’s a win-win situation. If he wasn’t serious, good riddance. If he was interested and needed to see your enthusiasm, that would be a good addition.
5. Move on
You can only do so much to get clarity on the situation, after that, you have to keep moving. Your life can’t be in a traffic jam because one guy decided to cancel your date and not reschedule.
Courtesy demands that he reschedules after canceling a date, but if he doesn’t respect courtesy, how can he respect you? It’s clear that he has no intention of being serious with you.
If you can’t hold yourself up with pride, attracting a guy who would treat you right would be difficult. So, pick up your big girl’s hat and flaunt it again.
Once again, the dating world is not easy to scale but if you take it one step at a time, have information about your date at your fingertips, and do not let situations like this bring you down, you are halfway to killing it!