Attachment begins in the womb; therefore, even children who are abandoned at birth experience considerable trauma and attachment wounds. Adoption can contribute to attachment disorders, trauma, and behavioral issues that people experience from childhood to maturity.
The United States has roughly seven million adoptees, and approximately 140,000 are adopted each year. While many people see adoption as beautiful—and it can be—the truth is that adoptees may experience substantial mental health issues as a result of their adoption.
Adoption is the process of placing a child with someone who is not their biological parent, whether they were separated at birth or adopted later.
Adoption is sometimes overlooked when discussing trauma, resulting in disenfranchised grief, which is grief that is not typically acknowledged or validated by society.
Adoption is a very personal decision. Each decision to adopt is unique. Each couple and person took a unique approach to making their decision. However, there are certain common themes in adoption.
Here are some frequent reasons why people adopt:
Why Am I Adopted?
1. Due to infertility
This is one of the most popular reasons why prospective parents choose to adopt. In many cases, they attempted to conceive naturally and endured months, if not years, of infertility treatments that finally failed. As a result, they decide to consider adoption as an alternative to becoming parents.
2. Some women have medical issues that make it risky to be pregnant
In addition to infertility, some women have medical issues that make pregnancy impossible or undesirable. Whether it’s a condition she’s known about since she was a child or one she developed after a previous pregnancy, these conditions could risk her life, so she chooses adoption as a means of becoming a mother.
3. They do not wish to pass on genetic abnormalities or diseases
In other circumstances, couples may be entirely capable of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy, but they are concerned that their child will be born with hereditary problems. Some parents with problems or diseases understand the great risk of passing them on to their child, so they choose to adopt instead.
4. They are a single parent looking to start a family
When a person is ready to have a family but does not have a partner, they may decide that adoption is the best option for them. They do not wish to pass on genetic abnormalities or diseases.
5. They wish to offer a child a caring home.
Whether they want to adopt domestically, internationally, or from the foster system (or an older child related to them), prospective adoptive parents know that many children do not have the safe, caring, and supportive family situations they require. This is only one of the reasons to adopt. Prospective adoptive parents decide to pursue the adoption process because they believe they can offer a family for this child.
12 Signs you were secretly adopted
1. Your birthday is the most difficult day on the calendar
The majority of adopted youngsters struggle to celebrate their birthdays each year.
Because, in many circumstances, their informed birthday corresponds to the date they were adopted. And then there’s their actual birthday. Furthermore, this is the moment when you are most likely to think about your true parents.
Inside, you’re always wondering if your real parents remember this day. At the same time, you are grateful to have such a caring family that values you more than your biological ones.
2. Your “parents” show you love and affection
If your parents show you love and affection, they are clearly trying to compensate for the fact that they are not your biological parents and do not want you to find out.
3. You’re the last born
Everyone understands that last-borns are not intended. It’s possible that you made a mistake or that your parents opted to have another child just for fun. If your siblings are substantially older than you, you are clearly adopted. Go ask your parents.
4. Your pet and you have a unique bond that no other person has
Most of the time, you are either alone or with your pet. There is a special bond you share with your pet. It’s the kind of connection you don’t have with anyone at home or anywhere.
There’s no reason to believe your guardians don’t care about you sufficiently, but you felt closer to the family pet.
In some ways, it appears like you are experiencing the same feelings as someone who has been adopted.
You both share comparable emotions and experiences. Plus, you’ll receive excellent care from your family.
You both have no idea who your birth parents are, how they live, or where they are.
5. You want to find out if you have a sibling or sister
And this is also one of the signs that you were secretly adopted. You want to know who their parents and siblings are. You want to know where their parents are and if they have a sibling or sister.
Similarly, your existence is a lifelong puzzle for you. And you wish you could know everything about your family.
Your persistent hunt for signs and clues leads you to your family or someone who has similar skin tones or eye colors.
If you see someone or a friend refer to them as your twin, the misunderstanding worsens.
6. Your family has no record of any relationship with you
When you are adopted, you have no legitimate evidence to prove your relationship to your current family. The parents either refuse to answer queries about your childhood.
Furthermore, anytime you inquire about something, they try to persuade you with the same story. The narrative you refuse to believe is true.
You can learn about your relationship with your current family by looking at family photos and other documentation.
However, if there is no evidence or you are provided with insufficient information, you may be correct.
Signs that you are an adopted child in this family include the lack of childhood photos and legal documents.
7. You have so much in life to be grateful for
There are numerous reasons to be grateful in life, ranging from having loving adoptive parents to knowing that you are wanted.
In most situations, the special sensation’ of being chosen by your current parents helps you cope with the experience of abandonment by your biological parents.
Remember that your current family opens up new opportunities in life. Not only will you have a home to live in, but you will also receive the feelings and care that you did not have from your own family.
Of course, you want to find your biological parents. At the same time, you don’t want to offend or damage your adoptive parents’ sentiments.
You are very pleased to be among such wonderful people as your family, and you occasionally abandon the thought of finding your existence. Because you never want to lose your family again.
8. You have no baby photos
This one should be easy to break. Don’t trust any stories about your infant photos being lost in a fire or during transit. They are all falsehoods. How come all of your siblings have newborn pictures, but you don’t? Oh, please.
10. Your siblings are annoying
If your siblings irritate you, it’s because they know you’re not one of them and are attempting to frustrate your life until you realize. Recognize this and find serenity.
11. You do not look like either of your parents
If you don’t resemble either of your parents, do we really need to tell you that you’re adopted? You should’ve worked that out for yourself.
12. You have a different complexion than the rest of your family
Same question: where did you get lighter-skinned genes when everyone else is dark-skinned?
Conclusion
These are just a handful of the reasons individuals consider adopting while deciding on a parenting option. Of course, there may be other reasons for adopting a child that are not covered here, and that is wonderful. Each person’s situation is unique, as are their motives for adopting.
