You should never take back an ex who dumped you, as much as you might want to take them in right now. You see, we are all hardwired to forget unpleasant memories and recall happy ones.
We are doing so to protect our own sanity and mental health. It is likely due to this reason that you have forgotten what it was like to be dumped and why your relationship with your ex didn’t work out in the first place.
One of the many reasons why people second-guess their decision to end a relationship is that your ex might contact you again. They might have real, deep explanations, including feeling a true sense of regret.
Or they might be far trickier. You have to stay away from them to avoid becoming entangled in a destructive cycle of mistreatment. You should always keep in mind that you should never try to take back someone who dumped you.
Reasons Why You Never Take Back an Ex Who Dumped You
When an ex breaks up with you but reaches out to you again, you feel this is an opportunity for you to set them straight or get back into the relationship to convince them that you’re not the person they once thought you were.
These are awful excuses to get back into a toxic partnership.
Positive memory bias is another factor that makes things worse. Good times and experiences are easier for us to recall than negative ones.
It is a bias in our thinking that enables us to feel at ease and let go of pain. You most likely don’t remember why your relationship didn’t work out and why it won’t work going forward, nor do you remember what it was like to be dumped by your ex.
We’ve put together some reasons why you should never take back an ex who dumped you. After reading, you’ll hopefully see why you should never try to win back an ex who broke up with you.
1. It could make you have low self-esteem.
Disparaging and dehumanizing words like “dumped” would have a great impact on someone. It will negatively impact your self-worth to get back an ex who rejected you or treated you poorly.
You probably already struggle with poor self-esteem and don’t think you can get a better deal than your ex if you’re considering letting that ex back into your life.
You can’t make things better by getting back together with them.
Reconciling with an ex-partner entails making concessions on matters that you initially deemed intolerable or irreconcilable.
Your self-worth and dignity may be permanently harmed by it. You deserve better, so keep that in mind. You can only become more receptive to life’s blessings if you have that mindset.
Develop your self-esteem by making a conscious effort to maintain a circle of individuals who love and respect you.
2. You’ll keep going through an unhealthy cycle of dependency.
One reason why you should never take back an ex who dumped you is that taking back an ex who dumped you is maintaining an unhealthy cycle of codependency.
Trying to get back to your ex after being treated badly is often the result of not knowing how to have healthy intimacy with someone else and believing that you would not be able to survive without them. This is a classic example of the codependency reflected in this behavior.
Poor self-esteem and fear of being alone are the root causes of codependency in relationships. Remarkably, codependents find it particularly challenging to quit a relationship.
Giving into this impulse could lead you into an unhealthy pattern of codependency, even if you do not consider yourself to be codependent on your partner now.
Regaining a relationship with an ex-partner will only serve to reinforce codependent behavior, so avoid doing so at all costs.
3. Rather than moving forward, you’re seeking For Comfort.
Are you still wondering if getting back with your ex is a good idea? It demonstrates how risk-averse you are that you are even considering getting back with them.
Your priorities seem to be about you being comfortable rather than your growth. The very tone of this self-talk will limit your progress and hold you back: “My ex wants me back after dumping me.”
Slight discomfort is the starting point for personal progress. When faced with uncertainty, you are forced to improve yourself.
Although it can be frightening, it’s also an adventure. Move on after telling your ex no. Consider it a chance for personal development throughout this stage. You’ll be inspired to never turn around and turn back on an ex who dumped you.
4. Some Issues Cannot Be Resolved, Which Is Why Trying To Reconcile With An Ex Never Works
Can you recall how you felt about the breakup? Did your partner bring up any concerns before ending things? If it was a mutual decision to end the relationship, what were the main reasons behind it?
Telling yourself that nothing can ensure those problems won’t resurface is a fantastic idea right now.
Taking your ex back would mean these issues would keep surfacing time and again, leaving you hurt repeatedly. If your ex does not change any of their behavior patterns, such as cheating or abuse.
The same problems will likely resurface. These problems could include a collision of values and priorities, problems with trust, and a loss of acceptance, love, and respect.
5. One reason why you should never take back an ex is because some disagreements cannot be resolved.
Why You Should Never Take Back an Ex Who Dumped You? Reuniting with an ex who dumped you will negatively impact your self-esteem.
6. Taking back an ex who dumped you implies a lack of self-respect.
“My ex wants me back after dumping me,” you say. The first piece of advice here is for you to take a step back and listen to yourself.
What emotions does it arouse? If you’re considering getting back together with someone who dumped you, it’s likely because you don’t think you’ll meet someone better.
The phrase “being dumped” implies that you’ve been forced to decide without your opinion being needed. Your feeling of self-respect must have been damaged by the fact that you had little influence over the split.
Reuniting with an ex-partner can just exacerbate your feelings towards them, so avoid doing so at all. Don’t prove them right if your ex has repeatedly overstepped your boundaries and believes that you can’t live without them and will therefore put up with all of their nonsense.
Rather, demonstrate to them that you are capable of living a bright life without them in the picture.
7. You two are not on the same page anymore.
You had diverse experiences after the separation, starting with the breakup itself. It was a turning point in your life that you handled on your own and your ex’s too.
These kinds of experiences change you and teach you a lot of things. We deal with them, we feel wounded, we heal from the breakup, and we grow and learn. We meet new people and develop into new people.
It could be difficult for you to remember your ex if it has been a while since your breakup. When you consider reconciling with an ex, you see a pause in time when everything stops and the relationship starts where it ended.
8. You will never get to experience a New life.
One reason you should never take back an ex who dumped you is that you will never get to experience a new life.
Although you are a different person now than you were before the breakup, returning to a previous relationship increases the likelihood that you may be pressured to adopt old habits.
Your partner’s disposition and actions will force you to become the same person you were before, despite your best efforts to resist.
Your mind will try to get you both to conform to the same old attachment styles, psychology, and relationship formulas since it is skilled at avoiding conflict.
Reuniting with an ex-partner who dumped you is never a good idea, as it will only make you more of the same person. This prevents you from evolving into a different person.
And that change is something you deserve. to reshape yourself into a more loving version of yourself by taking lessons from past errors and encounters.
9. There will be a lack of trust and confidence in that relationship.
As we’ve been discussing, having one’s confidence and self-esteem shaken might result in trauma. You may then start to fear being abandoned and feel like you have no control over your destiny as a result of this.
Fear of getting dumped again and an ongoing fear of your ex are some of its adverse effects. Unhealthy, people-pleasing habits will result from this.
You’ll be perpetually anxious if you don’t trust anyone. It will make you tread carefully through life, putting up with negative conduct and setting unhealthy boundaries with people.
No matter how sincere your ex is, a lack of trust will negatively impact the health of the relationship, even if they truly think about what is best for you.
10. You Are Regressing
Reuniting with an ex will help you relive past trauma. No matter how strongly you try, a true “fresh start” is not going to occur. That isn’t feasible.
All of these obstacles from the past will act as hooks, drawing you back time and time again until the relationship becomes mired in the past.
Furthermore, you are going backward if you are not moving forward. An ex who dumped you should never be taken back, since doing so will prevent you from moving on.
Conclusion
It’s a good idea to reconcile with an ex if you broke up because it felt like you two had grown apart or out of love. One of the things that drives most partners to get back together after a breakup is the presence of children who stand to gain from the reconciliation. Going back to a toxic relationship is strongly discouraged, whether or not children are involved.
If you choose to try again in your relationship with your ex, peace and forgiveness require patience on both sides. For a relationship to be successful, absolute trust is very necessary. Let the forgiveness come through.
Allow the reconciliation to come to pass. Seek counsel from people you respect. Above everything, however, follow your instincts.
