To explore this topic very well, It’s very important to first understand the word narcissism and who is a narcissist. The word narcissism, also known as narcissistic personality disorder, refers to a kind of trait and behavior characterized by an inflated self-image , a constant need for admiration, and an addiction to fantasy. It’s a personality trait filled with self-centeredness, a lack of empathy, and being inhumane toward others.
While the word narcissistic, refers to someone who has this narcissistic personality disorder called NPD, Those with this kind of character and traits exhibit a pattern of a self-centered lifestyle. Everything is all about them. They constantly need your admiration, service, and praise to boost their confidence and ego. They have issues with their self-esteem. They lack empathy.
A narcissist can do anything to have their way, irrespective of whose life is at stake. They derive joy from lording over others because they believe they are superior to them. Whatever threatens their confidence is emotional torture for them. They have an exaggerated sense of self-image. They are manipulative and can even play the victim. They exploit others and might find it difficult to maintain a lasting and healthy relationship because of their selfish lifestyle.
It should also be noted that not everyone who exhibits narcissistic behaviors has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). NPD can exist on a spectrum in different individuals. While some individuals also exhibit these personality traits more than others. This can be known through a diagnosis by a qualified mental health professional, especially based on a detailed evaluation of the person’s behavior, thoughts, emotions, and psychological history.
I would also like us to understand what the ‘no contact rule’ is. Just like the name implies, it’s a period of complete cutoff. Cutting off every communication with the narcissist, in addition to moving on with your life and even starting a new journey of life discovery and healing. Sometimes, it’s not an easy ride executing this task on someone you’ve once had an emotional bond with and a relationship with within the past years, but that’s the better way to quit.
It might not be easy to cut off a narcissist immediately. They can react in a very unpleasant way and find a way to fix things. They can find ways to manipulate you back toward them. They can beg you. Use every avenue to make you come back. Narcissists feed on their partner’s vulnerability to boost their egos.
Having known who a narcissist is and what narcissism is, join me now to understand the 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact.
7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
Here is a list of 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact with them
1. Hoovering
A narcissist attempting to lure you back to them can stalk and hover around you when you have no contact with them. They will use every avenue to bring you back to them. Moreover, they already know your weaknesses and love language. They can do this through stalking, your love languages, apologies, sending gifts, and promising a change.
They might even engage friends, family, or acquaintances to reach out on their behalf and talk you back to them. Most times, this is first of the 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact.
2. Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Exploitation
A narcissist, in order to maintain their ego, will try to manipulate you into doubting your own idea of leaving and making you question your decision to disconnect from them. Having been with them and experiencing only maltreatment instead of love, a narcissist will not drop their act of maltreatment even when you go without contact.
The only thought in their mind during this period is to find ways to regain control over you in order to regain their superiority and retrieve their narcissistic supply. Not that they have changed.
They will go to any length to harass you, manipulate you, and turn the whole story against you to anyone who listens. This is to gain pity; I play the victim, and you are the culprit. Gaslighting is a very manipulative behavior aimed at making you question your reality and creating doubts in your mind. This is the whole trait of a narcissist.
Their whole idea is to get you back into their arms and their toxic relationship. Not that they have changed, as there is no love involved in any of these. They can use guilt-tripping, using emotional manipulations to make you feel responsible for their satisfaction or happiness.
3. Replace You With Someone
Because a narcissist always needs a victim in order to exercise their superiority and someone to satisfy their ego, they can replace you with someone else during a no-contact period. If they have tried to manipulate you back and it doesn’t work out, they will replace you immediately.
Narcissists don’t feel they need the time to heal and be treated, as they don’t agree they have any issues or are emotionally wounded. They will not feel you rejected them during this period and will not consider it an act of rejection, as they feel they are superior to you.
When narcissistic person sees that their strategies and manipulation aren’t having any effect on you and they will not manipulate you back, they won’t waste more time moping around or waiting for your love. They need their daily fill of narcissistic supply; they need to find a replacement for you fast enough.
In fact, This might not be too hard for them either. With their manipulation and love-bombing tactics, they will manage to move on to some other helpless person and get them to commit to a relationship. They might not even wait to confirm your lack of interest before they go for another. They use their relationships as the source of their narcissistic supply. As long as they have someone to satisfy their ego, it doesn’t matter who is providing it. Moving on to another victim after a breakup is so common with a narcissist.
4. Violent, Abusive, and Dangerous
One of the possible things a narcissist can do when you initiate no contact is to also go violent and threaten your life and safety. “When arguing with a narcissistic partner, expect them to say provocative and abusive things because they are wired to do so” says psychologist Ridhi Golechha. This one might be the most threatening to your safety, as it involves life. In situations like this, it becomes very important to take legal action and to have a support system ready.
During this period, a narcissist can go to any length to get you down, as his ego is wounded. Don’t take the risk of not involving an external body. Make sure you inform the necessary people about their threats. It’s expected that they can show up anytime, anywhere—your home or workplace—to get at you. Make sure you’re prepared and have a support system ready.
5. Retaliation For No Contact
A narcissist, in order to get back to you, can also give you a no-contact order. Since their inflated ego cannot bear the fact that you were the one who left them, they might also cut you off from their lives and cut off communication with you as well.
That behavior is born from the belief that they feel superior to you and that you don’t have any control over them and your decisions. They do this in order to minimize your attempts at authority. In most cases, they tell people that you don’t matter in their lives and that they don’t care about you.
That makes them believe that you initiated contact with them because they allowed you to do so, and that’s the reality they choose to believe in.
6. Self Victimization
One of the things a narcissist does during a no-contact period is to portray themselves as victims. They can go to any length to make people believe you’re the problem and they are not guilty. They do this in order to gain your sympathy and that of others.
Narcissists often engage in self-victimizing behaviors and characters. They can make up for emergencies to gain your sympathy. Just know that it’s very okay not to respond to these made-up emergencies or false claims that they need you. It’s just to find ways to break up the lack of contact with them.
It’s just a technique to lure you back to them. Not that they need your sympathy. A well-known characteristic of a narcissist is hoovering. It is a very common manipulation tactic that narcissists use to suck you back into their lives and toxic relationships.
Self-victimization, or narcissistic hoovering, is part of their strategy when you have no contact with them. This is just aimed at gaining sympathy for themselves, not saying that they have changed. Don’t forget to remind yourself daily that a relationship with a narcissist is toxic. Having used your love for them as a prisoner over the years, This is the best chance you have to break free and heal. Don’t allow them to hold you back for anything. Stick with your no-contact rule and plans.
7. Smear Campaigns
Having done all and let none get at you, a narcissist can engage in smear campaigns. They will spread false information about you to damage your reputation and integrity. They can even go to any length to expose any of your dirty secrets and will use every avenue to snitch on you and backbite you.
They do this to keep you in a spot and isolate you from any support networks you are supposed to get from people. They know this and believe that as long as you leave them, nobody else should also be with you. They cause you this emotional damage and defamation to emotionally ground you and strip you of any external help.
In summary, the above points and more are possible characteristics exhibited by a narcissist during a no-contact period.
Knowing this, you should expect the worst the moment you decide to walk away from an abusive relationship with a narcissist. They will exhibit all their toxic tactics to fight you relentlessly. You have to be prepared. It won’t be easy, as it can be challenging.
But it is the best decision for you. It’s very good to seek emotional and legal support from families, friends, and professional bodies. This will protect you from their harm. Once you’ve made up your mind, stick to it. It might be for some time, but you’ll win. If you’re still in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, it’s time to break free, as you need to live and recover. And you, narcissist, it’s time to get help, heal, and enjoy a beautiful relationship and lifestyle.
